Mama John

I came across this picture today of Evelyn McNair, otherwise known as Mama John. She was Steven's grandmother, the woman we are so proud to have named our little girl after. She passed away a few months ago and the world just isn't the same place.
Steven's sister, Sadie, had the gumption to put together a really awesome book of photos and words that we wanted to share with the grandparents right before Mama John got really sick. Here's what I wrote. It pretty much sums up the way I feel about her....

When Steven and I were excitedly expecting our child, there was only one name we could think of that seemed right if we were to have a girl. And when our tiny and beautiful daughter was born and I looked at her sweet face and first called her “Evelyn”, I knew the name we chose for her was perfect. It wasn’t just because the name Evelyn is lovely and unique or because it is a name taken from a family member that made it so right for our daughter. It’s a perfect name because she was named after you and when she grows up we hope that she will be like you. When Evelyn grows older it is my hope that others will be reminded of you through her. I hope that when she first meets someone she will take sincere interest in their life and welcome them into hers. I hope she’ll be able to draw in those around her with intriguing stories of her life. I hope she will have that kind of graceful beauty that lights up a room and draws everyone else to it. I hope she will have the same devotion and loyalty to her family that keeps them glued together through times of happiness and trial. I hope she will always have the heart to learn about the world and people around her. I hope she will grow in wisdom and poise and be able to share it with her children and grandchildren. I hope she will be true to herself and go after the things in life that stir her soul. And I hope she will always carry that childlike spark of wit and charm that can make others laugh.
There is no mistake in having named our precious and wonderful daughter after you. It is a name that encompasses such greatness and elegance that my heart swells with pride knowing she carries with her a part of you. And I will always be filled with gratefulness knowing you have given to her pieces of yourself.

--Mama John, you are truly missed....

A few pics from the 4th

We had a fun 4th of July over at Katie and Andrew's house. We adults enjoyed hanging out on the patio, chatting, while the kids ran around.

Evelyn said, "It's a party hat"!

Later the guys played horseshoes and then raced while kids rode piggy-back. "Again! Again! Again!"

~Dad and Christie (and tiny, growing baby Boyer, who is now 3.5 inches, head to rump! praise God for the truly amazing gift of children!!)

The Boyers and McKenzies headed back to our neck of the woods and were totally distracted by all the fireworks exploding alongside the highway and over the city. Our neighborhood is up on a big hill and we were able to find a spot to sit where a huge panorama of Arvada, Denver and Golden spread out before us. There were firework shows all over to see. Arvada's was pretty close by, so that was the focus. They did an exciting show that went on forever, and it felt great to be part of the neighborhood with folks oohing and ahhing in their lawnchairs or sitting on their rooftops while car radios competed with kids and distant thunder, the intermittent sound of 'Proud to be an American' and 'It's a wonderful world' breaking through.

happy 4th of july!

health is so underrated

I feel like I just got a second chance at life. A rebirth of sorts. I am just now recuperating after going through the worst physical time of my life (and I've given birth without any drugs, mind you). It feels so profoundly significant to me to come out of this. Anyway, it's big enough to me that I have to put it here, so here is my greatest "poor me" story. Eleven days ago I went in to get all my wisdom teeth out. Routine enough. It was a little scary, but I had said that I thought of it like a mini-vacation, where I would have the weekend to lie around and take a few pain pills while sipping a milkshake while Steven watched Evelyn. That's funny... The surgery was okay, I guess, except that I wasn't fully out of it and could feel them sawing into my gums and yank things out and all that. After it was over I remember there being some fuss about how to get my mouth shut again. I have a bad jaw in normal life and apparently it locked open, causing them to take whatever measure they had to to get it shut again. Usually they expect you to take prescription pain pills the first day and go onto advil and get over it. I was popping vicodin every couple hours and then motrin inbetween, because the pain was so severe. My face was swollen like a squirrel gathering for winter. Steven thought I resembled Marlin Brando. It wasn't pretty. I finally went in five days later to get things checked out to discover I'd had two dry sockets the whole time. Internet sites describe the pain as exquisite and having them shove strips of anesthetic back into the hole was on a whole different level. So that was rough, but that isn't even it. I'd been feeling nauseous that day of seeing the dentist again and as soon as I got home I started to throw up - a lot. I've been really sick before, like to the point I really needed to be hospitalized, but was too weak to go, but this was so much more extreme. It wouldn't go away. For four days straight I was sick. Really sick. The pain and misery of it was unbearable. I prayed to Jesus for mercy and hoped I would die. It just wouldn't stop. I was scared and didn't think I could handle it anymore. Sometimes it would seem to be getting better for an hour or so and then it would start over again. BUT alas! Sunday morning it phased itself out as it should and bit by bit I have gotten better! Oh mercy! I just feel downright happy to be alive again. Being able to be with Evelyn again is so precious. The sublime simplicity of being out of bed, or eating food, or sitting at the desk writing this feels like a huge gift. I'm humbled by it. I'm renewed by the experience. I will not be thankful for being so sick anytime soon, but I feel changed by it in a sincerely profound way and am determined to carry it on to make my life healthier in every aspect. It's been a big deal. For Pete's sake, I actually am happy giving up Starbucks...

good book

I just read Cormac McCarthy's The Road the other day and it was really good. It's really good whether or not Oprah put her sticker of approval on it (not to act like i'm above being a fan of oprah. most of the time i think she rocks). I love Cormac anyway, maybe because I'd be a cowboy in another life, he writes a book like it's one long poem, and somehow pages on describing one mundane process of saddling a horse or fixing a shopping cart can be entirely fascinating.
The Road was totally disturbing and I'm still thinking about it. I was going to sort out some possibility of a happy(ier?) ending to make myself feel better, but for once in my life thought it couldn't get worse than that (though later i figured out one precious loophole...) and I prayed the whole way through that they'd die already. So read it. I couldn't stop despite Evelyn's best efforts to get Mommy's attention back, which leads me to the question If you buy a book and read it within several hours are you allowed to return it like nothing happened?