Ivy Bug

Ivy is 10 months old! And oh so cute and sweet and smart and funny and lovable. She is growing up so fast, I can't believe it. I really feel like she was just born not too long ago and now she's only 2 months away from her 1st birthday. She's got two teeth, she is starting to stand unassisted here and there throughout the day, she's getting her own opinions on life, and she's starting to talk. She says (or at least gets very close to the words) Hi, Dada, Dad, Dog, and Baby. There are a thousand times a day where she makes my heart flip with happiness. Just like I sing to her, " i do believe that she's the best part of me and this world's better now that she is here".

Letting Go of Grandma

Right around my birthday my grandma was taken to the hospital with severe back pain. They couldn't find out what was causing it, but they did discover a small amount of pneumonia developing. She had to wait to get treatment for her pain until her antibiotics round was finished. In waiting, she got weaker and further problems developed. After awhile my mom and uncle decided that they shouldn't do further testing, because it was too painful for her. My sisters and I then rushed to get out to Minnesota as quickly as we could, taking only the infants with us. Before we left I was able to say goodbye to my grandma over the phone and although I couldn't understand most of what she was trying to say to me I did hear a few things and they will forever be seared on my heart. Planning travel with three women who have three different ideas of how to do things was a little challenging. We were the baby brigade at the airport and trying to keep three babies peaceful at the same time in one car was almost impossible. When we were able to first visit Grandma at the hospital she was alert just enough for us to sing her hymns and talk to her of heaven, to put her fears at ease that we girls and our families are fine and that she can go. She was so ready to leave at that point and perhaps had been ready for some time. She then was transfered to a peaceful and comfortable hospice out in the country where wild turkeys and deer roamed the snowy woods. It was beautiful to be with her while she was dying. To love her and cherish her as her breathing got more shallow and her soul readied itself for its soon passage into eternity. The time I spent there is unforgettable and I am so thankful for all the tender moments of being with my aunt and uncle, cousins, sisters and my aching mother as she mustered up her strength to let go of her own mom. We left on sunday and my grandma took her last breath on tuesday, with my mom at her side. Grandma would have turned 91 this July. She was very much herself right up until the end. And although she lived to an age where she'd had to say her own goodbyes to so many of her own friends and family, I'd always had this naive notion that she'd be here forever, which isn't something to easily change. Evelyn so matter-of-factly came up with on her own, "It's not sad that Great-grandma died. It's great! Now she can be with God". And so when I begin to let that loss well up in me, I remember the assured words of my little girl and bid Grandma farewell as she rejoices at the throne of God.
Loraine Julia Eckstein Dalzell Dickinson
July 7th, 1918 - February 24th, 2009

Suzie is 30

I turned thirty this year. I always thought it cliche' to get caught up in thinking 30 was a big deal, but it really became that way. My gosh, I am thirty. My 20's are gone. In actuality I lived out the typical 20's lifestyle in a condensed age 16-20 and got it out of my system in time to be married at 21, a mother at 26. I realized I've been feeling like a kid this whole time who is pretending to be an adult and now I have to face the fact that I really am an adult. And the only reason that concept is scary is that this whole time I thought people in their thirties actually had it together. Now I realize maybe we're all just pretending in one way or another. Yikes. Who's in charge around here?
It was a nice rite of passage to go through, considering Steven planned a surprise getaway at the Broadmoor for three days. It was extravagant and lovely. It was the perfect thing for me at a perfect time. I'd been feeling overwhelmed by motherhood, bored by the same surroundings and was in desperate need of a refreshed outlook on things. I loved having everything be over-the-top as if we were royalty. The grounds of the Broadmoor are gorgeous. Adjoining a huge gold course with mature trees, backing up to the mountains, swans gliding over the placid lake, sculptures, fountains, church bells ringing in the distance, quiet and serene, just perfect. Most of our time spent there we pretty much had the place to ourselves. We left right in time, checking out on Valentine's day, right when the place suddenly was bustling. Room service, ahh. We had a lot of fun swimming with the kiddos and relaxing. I then got to have a few hours to myself at the spa which was SO refreshing. It was a perfect weekend. Thank you, Steven. Your thoughtfulness overwhelmed me and put me back in place.

Evelyn is 4

Wow, I have a lot to fill in for the last few months, but I thought I'd start with the most recent. Evelyn just turned 4 on March 16th. I can hardly believe how big my girl is. She's definitely leaving that baby stage and is now a certifiable kid. We celebrated the event at our house on Saturday with the cousins (all but charlotte who is in baltimore), who happen to be Evelyn's best buddies. We had a colorful burro pinata, which we pulled off as being a horse. Even the little munchkins gave it a try this year. The kids mostly are thrilled just being together and I love seeing Evelyn's whole being light up when everyone around her is singing Happy Birthday to just her. It was a great day and I'm thankful Evelyn has so much love around her with her family (which is growing exponentially, i may add. evelyn now has 8 cousins). Thanks guys! Evelyn got a big girl bike and has put her tricycle to rest, at least part-time. She's already great at learning how to stop and steering. We can't wait for many family bicycling trips around the neighborhood this spring.
Evelyn's actual birthday was on monday. She woke up to the spare bathroom having been decorated with a dolphin shower curtain, pink towels, rug, toilet seat cover, a crystal bowl for all her hair things and jewelry, new soap, a step-stool so she can actually reach the sink now, and all other things girl. She was delighted, to say the least, and has been brushing her teeth about five times a day, bathing twice, and not fighting getting her hair done ever since. Great. We topped the day with a trip to cold stone where she picked out bright blue-dyed Cotton Candy flavored ice cream with m and m's mixed in. And then the evening completely got out of hand after that:) It was a good day and we once again we went crazy with birthday indulgence. You only turn four once, right? Thanks for joining our lives, Evelyn. You bring more excitement, joy, laughter and amazement than I ever imagined possible and I am so thankful to be your mom.