Letting Go of Grandma

Right around my birthday my grandma was taken to the hospital with severe back pain. They couldn't find out what was causing it, but they did discover a small amount of pneumonia developing. She had to wait to get treatment for her pain until her antibiotics round was finished. In waiting, she got weaker and further problems developed. After awhile my mom and uncle decided that they shouldn't do further testing, because it was too painful for her. My sisters and I then rushed to get out to Minnesota as quickly as we could, taking only the infants with us. Before we left I was able to say goodbye to my grandma over the phone and although I couldn't understand most of what she was trying to say to me I did hear a few things and they will forever be seared on my heart. Planning travel with three women who have three different ideas of how to do things was a little challenging. We were the baby brigade at the airport and trying to keep three babies peaceful at the same time in one car was almost impossible. When we were able to first visit Grandma at the hospital she was alert just enough for us to sing her hymns and talk to her of heaven, to put her fears at ease that we girls and our families are fine and that she can go. She was so ready to leave at that point and perhaps had been ready for some time. She then was transfered to a peaceful and comfortable hospice out in the country where wild turkeys and deer roamed the snowy woods. It was beautiful to be with her while she was dying. To love her and cherish her as her breathing got more shallow and her soul readied itself for its soon passage into eternity. The time I spent there is unforgettable and I am so thankful for all the tender moments of being with my aunt and uncle, cousins, sisters and my aching mother as she mustered up her strength to let go of her own mom. We left on sunday and my grandma took her last breath on tuesday, with my mom at her side. Grandma would have turned 91 this July. She was very much herself right up until the end. And although she lived to an age where she'd had to say her own goodbyes to so many of her own friends and family, I'd always had this naive notion that she'd be here forever, which isn't something to easily change. Evelyn so matter-of-factly came up with on her own, "It's not sad that Great-grandma died. It's great! Now she can be with God". And so when I begin to let that loss well up in me, I remember the assured words of my little girl and bid Grandma farewell as she rejoices at the throne of God.
Loraine Julia Eckstein Dalzell Dickinson
July 7th, 1918 - February 24th, 2009